


Sneezes and Kisses

by LostintheFandom



Series: Barduil [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Modern AU, cuteness, jumpy Thrandy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3750664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostintheFandom/pseuds/LostintheFandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bard is having a case of dad sneezes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sneezes and Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Tumble prompt from Gay-Thranduil
> 
> Since dad sneezes are really weird
> 
> Bard would have these really loud sneezes it sounds like a goddamn elephant and it would scare the shit out of thranduil they would come out of like no where and all of a sudden he's sneezing really loudly and thranduil has a goddamn heart attack , meanwhile his sneezes would be rally quiet and cute like a small kitten sneezing

It was a lovely cool mid-November day.

Thranduil and Bard had both decided to stay at home on this particular day. There had been a bit of a bug going around Bard’s colleagues. It had finally caught up to Bard leaving him with a slight cough and an itchy nose. Thranduil had been absolute in demanding that Bard stayed at home, even going as far as to call in sick for him and then deciding to take a day off and spend it with his husband.

They had sent Sigrid, Bain, Tilda and Legolas over to Elrond’s for a sleepover for two reasons; one, so that the kids did not get sick as well; and two, so that they could have some time to themselves.

After lazing around most of the day at around three in the afternoon – after excessive napping, cuddling and breakfast, brunch and lunch in bed- Thranduil and Bard finally managed to drag themselves out of the bedroom and into a room other than the kitchen. Much to the reluctance of Bard, Thranduil decided that they should do at least something productive for the day and settled on tidying up the house.

Bard was tasked with cleaning the T.V. room which was a right mess. There were CD cases strewn around the shelves near the large 60” TV, PS and Xbox consoles on the floor, as well as numerous cushions littering the floor. Thankfully any cups and uneaten food was still safely on the coffee table. With a sigh and a fond shake of his head at his children’s antics Bard set out to conquer their mess.

Meanwhile Thranduil was upstairs patrolling the kids’ rooms and picking up any dirty clothes for washing and fixing any messy beds. He had always been seen as motherly, constantly doting on Legolas and then on Bard’s children as well. Tilda had once called him ‘mom’ just as he had been tucking her into bed but he didn’t mind. He often considered himself the mother of the relationship, not necessarily thinking himself a woman, but the mother figure.

As he began making his way to the laundry room Thranduil felt a light tickle in his nose. With his arms full of clothes he couldn’t do much about it but scrunch up his nose - in a way Bard had often described as adorable- but that didn’t do much as he ended up releasing a sneeze anyways. It was a quiet thing his sneeze, sounding more like a kitten than a grown man much as he denied it. A small breathy thing that barely hunched his shoulders. He continued the short way down the hall to the washing machine, his nose was still twitchy but the urge to sneeze was gone at least. He bent down to put the clothes in when…

“AH-CHOOO!”

Thranduil jumped like a startled deer. He dropped the clothes on the floor and rushed to the TV room almost tripping on a shirt and on the oversized pyjama pants he was wearing. He rounded into the room eyes wide and heart racing to see Bard rubbing his nose with a napkin.

“What happened? It sounded as if you were getting murdered!” Thranduil moved to stand closer to his husband checking him over, dully noticing the tidiness of the room.

Bard chuckled at his lover’s distress, “It was just a sneeze, love.” He wrapped his arms around Thranduil, loving how the two-or-three-sizes-too-large pyjamas gave him paw-sleeves as he returned the gesture.

“You sounded like and elephant.” Murmured Thranduil as he rested his forehead against Bard's. He felt the itch in his nose return once more and scrunched up his face trying to glare at the offending organ.

“You’re so adorable when you do that.” Thranduil turned away and released yet another kitten sneeze. Bard chuckled and kissed his nose, “That was even more adorable.”

“M’not adorable.” Mumbled the blonde as he pulled away from the hug, “I’ve got to go and fix the mess in the laundry which you caused with your trumpet of a nose.”

“How about a movie marathon once you deem the house presentable?” Bard called down the hall.

“Okay.”

So it was for the next hour and a half the two moved around the house cleaning and exchanging kisses whenever they crossed paths. Bard occasionally managed to sneak a pinch at Thranduil’s lovely, round ass causing the other to blush. By the time they were done the two were thoroughly exhausted and spent a good half-an-hour making out on the couch like teenagers.

“Weren’t we meant to be having a movie marathon?” Thranduil managed to say once Bard abandoned his mouth in favour of his neck.

Bard grunted a little sucking a purple mark on his lover’s neck before pulling away. “Right now?”

“Yes, now. You’re not getting any whilst you’re sneezing like a sick cow. What if you sneeze whilst in the middle of pounding me into the mattress?” Now Thranduil was just being mean and he knew it. Bard gave a half groan half chuckle at the image Thranduil had painted. He attempted to steal Thranduil’s lips again but was stopped by a soft, slender hand pressing to his chest and pushing him up. “Go pick a movie and I’ll make popcorn.”

So it was that six hours and four large bowls of popcorn later that the two found themselves halfway into a horror movie. Bard sat half leaning on the arm of the couch and half on the backrest with a cushion behind his back and a bowl of popcorn on his lap and an arm around a curled up Thranduil’s shoulders with the blonde’s head leaning on his chest one pale hand holding his own that was resting on his shoulder and one crossed over his chest. A blanket was thrown over both of them cocooning them in warmth.

Bard wasn’t exactly affected by horror movies, he just liked hugging his husband whenever the other cuddled against him during a jumpscare. It wasn’t as if Thranduil only volunteered horror because he tried to appear brave, he just loved the thrill he got when he got scared knowing that it’s not real – if it was real he wouldn’t be liking it.

Currently Thranduil was holding Bard’s hand firmly as suspense began to build up, violins were playing and it was dark. Odd shadows and noises passed around the character. Then the actual jumpscare happened and Thranduil jumped, his heart rate and breathing picking up as the thrill washed over him. A few moments later he focused on Bard’s warm arm around him and began to regulate his breathing. It was quiet.

“AH-CHOOO!” Thranduil was startled out of his skin. He jumped, knocking over the popcorn bowl and tangling in the blanket ending up on the floor in a mess of cushions, popcorn and a blanket. His heart rate was at least twice as fast as it had been during the jumpscare and his breathing was short and rapid. He placed a hand over his heart and tried to calm down. He felt two arms wrapping comfortingly around him, lifting him bridal-style and settling him on a warm lap as a chin was rested on his head and a hand rubbed comforting circles on his back.

“Are you alright?” Genuine concern sounded in Bard’s voice and shone in his eyes as his husband leaned on his chest and let out a shaky breath.

“Yeah. M’fine.”

Bard still was not convinced. “You sure?”

“Absolutely. You should hear yourself sneeze, it would make a lovely wake up call for the ki-ih-ih-chooh!” Thranduil was so very rudely interrupted by another of his kitten sneezes. “I think I’ve caught whatever you have.”

A deep rumble echoed in Bard’s chest as he laughed softly at Thranduil who was now working on hiding a barely-there blush. He leaned down and kissed Thranduil’s nose.

“You are still adorable!”

“Shut up!”


End file.
